please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize