all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
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That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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