And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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