Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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