she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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