So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
