i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I use my feet as sexual weapons
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize