based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
