no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
