See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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