WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
