I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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