Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm bleeding and have questions
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
