I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just fell off a train. Bad.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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