Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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