Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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