Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This baby is an asshole
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
