but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
