I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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