Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.