if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
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He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go