you turned your livingroom into a bong?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to