Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Heybabeimwearingurpanties

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  (919): Heybabeimwearingurpanties http://tfl.nu/vfaz
  Replies (15) Good night (959) Bad night (1782)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.

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  (727): If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends. http://tfl.nu/hu0f
  Replies (25) Good night (536) Bad night (3438)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."

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  (407): We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression." http://tfl.nu/hom0
  Replies (11) Good night (1166) Bad night (4115)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson

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  (508): this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson http://tfl.nu/oc0q
  Replies (7) Good night (3760) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty

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  (760): Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty http://tfl.nu/lyuj
  Replies (11) Good night (2673) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"

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  (270): My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50" http://tfl.nu/q36v
  Replies (11) Good night (1888) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I wish I could just hang out in ERs.

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  (503): I wish I could just hang out in ERs. http://tfl.nu/ev60
  Replies (9) Good night (568) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...

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  (+61): For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up... http://tfl.nu/ld08
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.

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  (415): You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. http://tfl.nu/i804
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (+81): View more from

  I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?

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  (+81): I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing? http://tfl.nu/61om
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand

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  (315): This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand http://tfl.nu/jj5a
  Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it

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  (847): Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it http://tfl.nu/xf5x
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.

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  (903): I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat. http://tfl.nu/c6vl
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.

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  (425): So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height. http://tfl.nu/0pmh
  Replies (10) Good night (647) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Happy you have kids and I don't day!

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  (262): Happy you have kids and I don't day! http://tfl.nu/yzfq
  Replies (4) Good night (857) Bad night (292)

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