Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
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So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"