i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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