alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
