I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Randomize