i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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