The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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