I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
