Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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