It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize