The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
