3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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