I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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