thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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