I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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