Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
