but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize