Got a toothbrush?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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