Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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