We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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