the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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