very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize