you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
