I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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