as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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