Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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