I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The dysfunction is strong in this one.