he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
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Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.