i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again