Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
