so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together