oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
