Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
