no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
