This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This couple is walking their pig around campus