so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again