i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.