How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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