you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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