He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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