yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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