She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
