my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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