i need an iv and a liver transplant
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The best revenge is premature balding
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Drunk is not a location!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize