Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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