i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
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I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
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No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.