This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
