why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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